As parents you expend a lot of time and energy choosing the best school, safest bike, most valuable educational games, most qualified soccer coach and ballet teacher. The list goes on and on.
Yet the most important task of all--the one that determines your child's happiness and success in life--the task of creating your child's self-image--that job you do unconsciously. It is not your fault. It is simply that no one ever told you.
Self image is created by how you treat your child during the early years--what you do and do not say, what you do and do not do. Every little interaction you have with your child, every reaction, every response--or the lack thereof--sends a message to your child telling him what you think of him and who he is for you.
Self image determines self esteem which affects the success your child will achieve in all areas of life throughout his or her life! You can choose to take that sacred task to heart and ensure that the self image you instill through your behaviors is a positive one resulting in "Kids Who Can."
How do you create your child's self image on a conscious level? Realize that the words you speak directly to your child AND the words your child hears spoken about him go directly into his or her subconscious mind creating programs that become his or her reality.
If you make a joke about your toddler's clumsy walk, your child's subconscious mind creates a program that says, "I am clumsy." That order will then be carried out across your child's life and he will be clumsy.
Your child has no way to screen out negative messages, looks, feelings etc. he picks up from you and others in his early environment. Simply be aware of what you say and do and even of how you look at and think about your child. You do not have to say a word for your kid to know what is going on inside you.
In fact, you may be angry or upset about something completely unrelated to your child. Yet you might look at or past your child while thinking those negative thoughts. And your child, not being a mind reader, may guess you are angry with him for whatever it is he is doing in that moment. Boom! New program created affecting his self-image.
Live your life with that awareness. And most important of all, hug your kid at least four times every single day and say the words , "I love you." every single day--the more often the better.
Tell your child you love and treasure him simply because he exists and you are grateful to be his parent. Afterall, you really are, aren't you?
